Year 2016, I've had injures before able to get through, not this time. My 10 years practicing Bikram Yoga, completed 8 challenges, 60 straight days, 104 degrees, 90 minutes. My goal walk at 90. The old boyfriend thought she will never endure the hell of Bikram (never liked Bikram the arrogant bully, never be a teacher). The OB liked the heat, physically strong from construction who helped me build my porn site. We had a quiet understanding of each other. But, he left and I stayed, I keep going.
I hit my pinky toe on a metal chair chipped a tiny bone in the web of my toes. It didn't go away. A foot doctor, podiatrist helped me heal the broken toe. Then it hit, my nervous system, body screaming. For 6 months couldn't watch TV, my brain was on fire. My kids were there to help SLC, Utah, in the land of religious cult. One of my son's, a ER doctor was on it to save his Mother. At the time didn't know I was sexually molested by Dad WW2 Army-Air Force vet. He brought Hitler to his family. I'm first born, 5 weeks early 5 lbs 8oz. At 2 weeks old, he came in like a bull-dozer to kill me. My Mother caught him then attacked her in violent rape, she saved me.
My ex, a narcissistic spiritual abuser acted kind to me at family gathering. Like always, I was kind accepted his friendship. A wolf in sheep's clothing. a crafty snake to demean and break. A trauma therapist told me to never be around him ever again. It took weeks to courage up tell the family. I did and it still remains the rule. He will die and never see me. My silence speaks loud, drives him crazy. Another lesson learned and set in place to protect my peace.
The family was in standard medical with prescriptions. I was on ambien and trazodone for sleep. The ambien made me suicidal. My 7 year old grandson, Taylor and I connected when fighting not to die. It was the first time, I saw the darkness of my childhood. Taylor was innocent, child-like kind. This one day at the kitchen sink, I wanted suicide. I planned a hotel to kill myself. I thought of Taylor's kindness, held on tight. Finally saw a doctor, dropped the ambien to cymbalta. It stabilized me.
I knew the established medical system was not going to work, hit the Mac, scrolling madly for angel numbers. Over and over again until I found tapping which was a tiny bandaid on a huge wound. Then it showed up, psych-k.com and emotion/body code. In Santa Cruz, California I found Theresa & Vaughn a married healing team. She called right away. It was the beginning of a intense healing journey. I faced disappointment on disappointment to heal. I thought it would be over in a year but it lasted 8 years.
Together with God, Jesus and Angels it was revealed what I know 3/9/2026. The cult born into maked sure to brainwash all it's members. It took over 5 years to undo this offensive trap of a soul. I crossed to the positive side healing. At this time, I was the frist feamle to undo the cult's brainwashing, bad programming.
Just recently, I discovered through palmistry who I am. I have the lines of M, the crescent moon, the tiny x, the luck lop and side mark on side of both palms.
For years on years, I was forgotten, betrayed, abandoned, humiliated for fear shame and guilt. I'm conquering anxiety for excess cortisol and adrenal in the brain. I rewired my brain, shifted family bloodlines in the DNA. I am living proof there is a God, a savior Jesus Christ with legends of Angels. In my protection circle there's a endless arsenal of light male and female ascended masters with special animals, family memvers. God has saved me from countless death experiences.
The day I felt, saw kindness in other human beings made me cry deeply. I saw someone cared for another. I saw how kind I was in a world of hate and anger. I'm less shattered.
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