Thursday, September 30, 2010
Last night I did not get to sleep until after 3PM. eeK! I tried all my usually ways to retire into the night, BUT failed. I did get a few hours of rest but not enough. My cat rescue girlfriend, who's a cougar told me, LA had 113 degree heat. OH FUCK ME! It's going down but not fast enough. This summer has been a mild one but making up for HOT at the last? Please Mother Nature, oh please turn off your furnace in San Jose. It's gud my stripper daughter and I put my air-conditioner back up. WHEW! I'm working on updates for Southern Charms. Today, one of my kinsters for fetish did something OFF the wall. What a dirty nastee fetish slave for his Mistress. LOL. I was shocked. I asked him IF he saw what he showed me on any video? He said NO! Damn, kinksters with Miss Zoe are very bad bad bad. This month I will meet a male slave and switch with him. We will tickle each other until we laugh so hard...... you know the rest. TOO FUNNY! Fetish Mommie Zoe Zane MILF Blog
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
"Ontario court strikes down Canada's anti-prostitution laws"
Ontario court strikes down Canada's anti-prostitution laws
The Canadian Press
TORONTO - An Ontario court has struck down key provisions of Canada's anti-prostitution laws, saying they contribute to the danger faced by sex-trade workers.
Dominatrix Terri-Jean Bedford and two other sex-trade workers had asked Ontario's Superior Court of Justice to rule on the Criminal Code provisions relating to prostitution.
They argued prohibitions on keeping a common bawdy house, communicating for the purposes of prostitution and living on the avails of the trade force them from the safety of their homes to face violence on the streets.
The women were asking the court to declare legal restrictions on their activities a violation of charter rights of security of the person and freedom of expression.
Prostitution itself is not illegal in Canada, but almost everything associated with it is — a situation one Supreme Court judge once said was "bizarre."
The federal government had argued that prostitution is inherently dangerous, no matter where it is practised.
The government also warned that Canada could become a sex tourism destination if prostitution-related activities are decriminalized.
Bedford's "Bondage Bungalow" north of Toronto was raided by police in 1994 and she was convicted of keeping a common bawdy house in 1998.
Canadian judge will look at the laws for prostitution that do not protect providers. Finally some judge sees that sex workers have NO rights.
This is a very strong argument in favor for sex workers. If this is changed it is one small step "respect 4 sex workers".
Zoe Zane blog sex workers and the world
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Mr. S., Steve Norris must be bored with his life or manic to spend so much time getting freakin' angry at what he did to himself. Yes, Mr. S. made himself my manger, sending Zoe Zane, my site to Howard Stern! Thank you so much Mr. S. for assisting. Just after cake farts took off on the Net, Howard Stern was on it. It's so interesting that Sexy Miss Lizz farted on a birthday cake before all of this big stink(ha ha ha)over cake farts. Remember what you told me Lizz and clips4sale??? Not much response from clip4sale for Sexy Miss Lizz. Howard Stern asked her to appear on his show as the "Queen of Farts" but Lizz declined BC of her kids. Understandable. I know. I waited to do porn till my last baby girl turned 18 years old.
Mr. S. blasted Zoe Zane in Howard Stern's face, but I had to "stand and deliver mate" and do all the work with Howard. I was scary, I worried myself sick for several months, before I went on his show. Terrified. Actually Mr. S. dared me to go on the Stern Show. He wanted to see IF..... Zoe Zane would even do it. I found out later about his dare. For a long time I did not hear from Mr. S./Steve Norris. I thought he had his way with me and that was THAT. He was asked to be one of my moderators for two of my yahoo groups. I trusted him. It was cool then. But one day in September 2010, he changed the Cake Farting Yahoo Group and moved it over to Yahoo Grouply. It made me nervous, so I deleted him as moderator from all my yahoo groups. Nervous Zoe Zane, and for a very gud reeason. I thought Mr. S. could delte my groups. Mr. S. never asked me if he could make those changes. He never apologized for the changes to the groups. Then he turned on me and NOW talking shit about what a bitch, I am. Well, Mr. S./Steve Norris ....you fired yourself. I finally told him like Doris Duke...YOU ARE FIRED! Now, he's slamming me and my name. Bring it on dude. Here is one email he posted about how I used the murder of Emily Sander/Zoey Zane for my gain. Yeah, I will use her, and write about the tragic death of a 19 year old amateur porn star who used my name and then was killed by a woman hater. I still have to deal with the spelling of our names at Starbucks. At Starbucks, they spell my name Zoey, it reminds me of her death everyday. I guess I'm getting kick by EmilySander/ZoeyZane to write about her death as a young 19 year old amateur porn star. The media used her to get traffic over her brutal death. It was me, my name and her name. Zoe Zane, my name..... and hers, Zoey Zane. She never contacted/asked me about the use of my name and then she was dead. I'm the steward of her tragic death, and her family has dealt with much more than my annoying name spelled wrong, day in and day out. Mr. S., have you had a child die or get murdered? I had a young child die, my first child.
Steve Norris impersonated me, Zoe Zane on Girls Gone Gross Forum. I never knew what he was doing. Today, I went over to the forum to register and could not use my name or email. Steve Norris used my name and email from my email account.
Here is one email sent to me by Mr. S./Steve Norris, the manger for cake farts. Message to Zoe Zane in today's email:
Acted like you???? I was promoting your business as your agent. Let's see how you do without me. In the meanwhile, Lisa and Mandy kiss their fortunes that I made them into International stars.
P.S. You should retire from porn at ur age.
P.S.S. My friend, advice columnist Dan Savage, think you're a goof and a big joke.
P.S.S.S. At least I don't fart on cakes.
P.S.S.S.S. I turned it into a big fight once you took over my effing Cakefarts Yahoo! group. IT ISN"T YOURS. I STARTED IT WITH TAYLOR ST. CLAIRE, TRUSTED YOU WITH THE KEYS AND YOU TOOK OVER. SO WHO'S ABUSIVE HERE???
Last but not least, you stole Emily Sander's identity. Now you stole my cake farts group. Who's the villain here???
Is this man crazy???
You should retire from porn at R age Zoe Zane
I was asked by SCORE to make a porn movie last year. I declined since the last porn movie I made I was raped. It will be in my book how porn is violent in America and how we are insensitive to it.
Dan Savage comments: He got what I am all about. Yes, goofy and silly about our sex! Thank you Dan Savage.
Steve Norris loves women who fart on him and chocolate cakes(mock poo poo). He told me that on the phone. WHO CARES!
It's a big fight BC you want to fight. Go make another fart group that is bigger and better, produce your own fart porn. WHO CARES! There is plenty for all in the world.
Little does he know how is he is hurting himself by slamming me to hell. If I read this blog I would not work with him. He is hurting himself. All he had to do was say sorry but he never did. Mature Zoe Zane Howard Stern's Cake Farting Girl, her blog back to Steve Norris
ah what the fuck----work with him and treat him like fresh meat. He loves farts in his face. I don't care. I have blocked him from all email accounts and groups. I do not trust his erratic behavior. Go take your meds dude.
Zoe Zane Cake Farts Blog --- Shit Kicking Cake Fart Loving Steve Norris
Monday, September 27, 2010
My feet are soooo sore from the heels and boots on Folsom Street. It was awesome how it played out. From pink afro to gold bling ---I changed to another outfit as " Ghetto Bitch" mocking pimps as "the pimp GIRL"! HA HA HA! Many women were laughing at my outfit. I intimated the crowd, the crowd was not sure what to do with me. I worked it like a star!!!!! I had Lady GaGa with me, blasting my shiny gold motif with cheap ass bling. We moved our way through the huge crowd of men that were my fresh meat! Laughing.....
I just dropped my stripper daughter off at San Jose airport. We got a lot done. Mama is secure and the cats are happy.
It's freaking 100 degrees today. I'm sucking up to the air conditioner right now. HELP! I'm not sure if I'm going to Bikram today. I need to get back to my routine of my life.
As for the old boyfriend coming back in my town, I just found out he's running away, the chicken shit"....cluck cluck cluck. All that stress over his mess, run baby run, no fun in the sun! If he think he's trouble, he's in real trouble now!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Packing up costumes, washing clothes, cleaning house, and loving the cats. Stripper daughter and I will arrive in San Francisco no later than noon. I feel hustled by my hustle. eeK!!!!@##$%^&*()......HA! See you are the wildest sex fair in the USA "Folsom Street Fair".
Friday, September 24, 2010
The old boyfriend is back in town. It's driving me crazy wondering how this will all play out. I better not run into him. I worked myself out a big hole of pain and rejection from "Con Boy". He used me all those 18 years, I did not see it until it was over. I was there for him, the con, fuck ZOE over, I call the "Worm". He used his seduction, his pretty boy moves on me, while he ran off to Vegas, married Bitch Tits, fake big tits with shaved pussy like a little girl. You're thinking, she's not your friend, you're RIGHT! I did not know, his sneaky plan. When he knew he could not control me anymore he dumped me. I did not see it.
After the abandonment, my pain and anger threw me down so low I wanted to eat everything in sight for comfort. Give me lots of pasta and sugar!
He knew he could not put me under his thumb so he left me for Bitch Tits. That's what he does best, find some babe with low self esteem, he can con and manipulate. He doesn't like to be alone, the chicken shit. No back bone, no strength. He uses you telling you how fucked his life is, making you fall in love with his fake greatness. Crazy huh! He makes you think he's great, but inside he's a loser, energy sucking up, dick face!
During his sneaky break up he told me he was in the mountains mediating. I wanted to know how he was. I went over to his work early in the morning. He screaming at me, are you checking up on me? He was pissed. I was puzzled and shocked at his caustic words. I barely made it home sobbing. I did not deserve this after all I did to keep him safe.
What he does, he gets in trouble, uses you, and when his trouble gets way out of control, he runs away. It was not me at all. He might as well taken a gun to my heart and let the bullet rip right into center of my chest. He did not want me to see he was with her. That is how he played it with me, when I first meet him. His first wife was a fat, big bitch. I can see why he left her, but not me. I was the one who spoiled him and showed him the good life.
This feels and reads like a soap opera. A day time, damn fucking soap drama but real! How did I get into such a huge drama for all of you to read? Are you shaking your head in disguise? I am. Are you feeling the the sorrow in my heart and my ripped off bank account? It played too a gigantic river of tears over him.
I stressed, thought I would not make it. Then my favorite male cat died. My Fuzzy, who was there for me. I wanted Fuzzy to hang on one more year but he passed. I was alone for the first time in my life. No man no cat and no 7 kids to distract myself from myself. After he ran away and wanted me back episode: HA HA HA! Just before I moved back in with him, the Bitch Tits was hanging out with him. She thought she was the one. I saw it, but did not see it. THAT is where I needed to say goodbye to con artist. But I didn't. I moved in. She was shocked when I moved in. She thought she was the one. She was but I did not know she was.
Diary of a broken heart that pulled herself up to her smiley face in California - Zoe Zane Soaps Real Life Drama - "Ruff draft of my ruff love life"
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I never thought I would blog for a living. NEVER! A college education in dance and the arts, not writing. I hated English ...boring! I never planned to be a writer. A huge power source with legends of angels lead me to this laptop with all my thoughts about my adult sex world. I was raised Mormon in 1950's with all those polygamy mind washing beliefs. Those beliefs are still running in the minds of Church members today. My sealed temple marriage was the law of the land, one man and one wife. But there's a under current still in the Church about polygamy and the after life in heaven. If the US government had not ruled against plural marriages, the Mormon Church would be polygamist. Polygamy, still influences the minds of Church members. I didn't get a Church divorce, so in their minds, I'm still sealed to the first husband that's a woman hater. LOL. My Dad made sure, I married the right "righteous" man. Dad scared off many boyfriends until I married a loveless man sealed in the temple for time and eternity. Joseph Smith who started polygamy in the Church liked another woman when married to Emma, his first wife. He said polygamy was from God, but it was from his lust for another woman. Men are next to God and plural marriage is pulsing through the Church 2010. I just watched "The 19TH Wife" on Cable TV this week. Shocking, I saw my sub-servantant thinking and beliefs. It's a miracle, I got out of the Church and typing my thoughts. As a Mormon wife, it's a commandment to obey your husband in the Church. Actually it's abusive, it's white slavery in America. You do not see too many black members in the Church. The truth in the Cable show, how men, like Brigham Young, the prophet of the Church could have any 14 year old girl for a wife, before 1900. These old men where boning young teenage wives in Zion. I'm sure the Church does not address all the incest THAT might be happening within the Church. I know how the Church covers up stuff or ignores it. They did it to me when I went for help. Today, I'm watching my younger sister and sister-in-law be submissive to their self righteous husbands. Both men yell and are control freaks. When you get beat down over and over again there's not much self power left. It is hard to get out. My x-husband has not changed much. I get reports from my stripper daughter. So life goes on in stagnate motion, no motion, in the Mormon Church. If it gets too painful people change and get out. All my support can not make the women change. It's their choice. But, I'm writing about it, and very bold I might say, maybe I will get sued by the Church, so be it, to uncover the truth about the Mormon Church today. I don't think the Church gives a damn about me and have ex-communicated me from all of them. Whatever. Today, I have support from my community in Bikram yoga. We rock! We're getting healthy. We are bold. We are bullet proof, word proof, and Church proof. HA! Zoe Zane her life in the Mormon Church in California
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I will be writing about Dad and myself in my book. He affected my whole life. The last 2 years of his life, I felt moved to make a connection, I needed. I was afraid of my Dad all my life. He was caustic and a hard to live with. His Kaiser Permanente® doctor gave him a anti-depressant making his sodium blood levels drop way low. It messed up his body chemistry and almost killed him. We talked about suing the hospital, but I don't think he had any fight in him after that. He was holding on and I was there. He knew, I knew what was happening to him and how hard it was to go on. I felt my executor brother neglected him over and over again. It ate away at Dad's heart knowing his son who he thought was there for him BUT was NOT.
Almost dieing, was a blessing in disguise. It fried out many bad files, the monster that scarred me so much was gone. Those files were erased which made him approachable. Really. He did not like losing his control but he and I made a connection. It was not much of a connection but it was more than what I had most of my life. Sometimes I would leave his bedside crying all the way home in my car. It made me so happy that he noticed me. He definitely has much work to do in the next life. It's very important how you go out when you die. I keep telling Dad, you can go out in peace. He fought me all the way. He did not believe he deserved anything good in this world. But at the end, he died in his sleep in the middle of the day at noon. I thought that was very strange to died at high noon. He liked John Wayne movies but did not watch TV very much. He liked to watch the weather channel.
My life with my dieing Dad in California - Zoe Zane blog
Monday, September 20, 2010
It's a big process to bury a parent. I liked seeing what your Mom did for a living. No wonder you are so talented Lizz. You're being Lizz and her spirit. Since you are cremating her body, there is more control over the time frame of her burial. You can hold onto the remains and bury her when you want to.
My Dad was buried in a cremation box(pressed board/lament) with the word "head" marked in black at the top of the box. It was so tacky. It still hurts inside how he was buried. My Dad worked hard and saved a big sum of money for his kids. After I found out what he had in his estate, I cried. Dad ordered a $500 pinewood box to be buried in. Goes to show how my brother felt about Dad and all of us. My executor Brother put him in a cheap box made out of lament flooring not waterproofed. He could of placed Dad in a coffin for about $800-900. It was a heartless act. He made fun of the box at Dad's burial. I want to exhume my Dad's remains and put him a better coffin honoring him as a Vet. He was not honored as a Vet. So if you have any control on how you place your Mom in the ground just show some descent respect. She's your Mom no matter what happened.
Why all the huff over a coffin? Because my Dad ordered a pinewood box and he was buried in a down grade. My brother made fun of it covering up his low ass choice. Little did he know how he hurt his family. I guess I'm morning over how my Dad worked all his life, like a soldier, never giving up, day after day. It was disrespectful to bury Dad in a cheap coffin. I'm mad, and sharing the hurt inside my heart for myself and Dad.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Waking up, I was laying in bed with all my 3 fluffy monster cats. They are the most loving cats I have ever had. Sometimes its overwhelming. Then, I think how their Mommie Cat treated them and then we are on common ground. I was in a waking up state where I create my costumes for Folsom. Ideas come to me and its awesome. In the past I wanted to be more bold but my bold was way too much for most of my Model Internet girlfriends. Now Lady GaGa opened up the flood gates for me. I can be way out, be bigger than big, and I will have a blast with my blasting fashions. HA HA HA
SAN FRANCISCO — Kink.com is co-sponsoring the Folsom Street Fair taking place Sept. 26 and its closing party.
The Deviants party takes place Sept. 26 from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., and will be held at 525 Harrison St.
“The Folsom Street Fair is part of the reason I moved to San Francisco to start Kink.com,” Kink.com founder Peter Acworth said. “It is truly an honor to be associated with the Folsom team and to be able to help contribute to all the worthy causes they support. We look forward to a wonderful event and to accomplishing great things as we join together for a little social deviance and to work towards a greater good.”
Last year, more than $330,000 in proceeds from the Folsom Street Fair was donated to various organizations.
“We have a vision of hope and health for everyone, as we work to provide comfort and relief to those affected by AIDS,” said Gina Gatta, co-chair for The National AIDS Me-morial Grove. “And the effort and contributions by companies like Kink.com in support of the great Folsom Street Fair truly help us achieve our goals to provide and maintain the important and special location the Memorial Grove has grown into. We are so grateful to everyone for making this dream a reality.”
This year’s 11 major beneficiaries include: Breast Cancer Emergency Fund, Central City Hospitality House, Dimensions Clinic, Dolores Street Community Services, Mission Neighborhood Health Center, Project Inform, Project Open Hand, Queer Cultural Center, San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, Shanti and Visual Aid.
This year’s five supporting beneficiaries include AIDS Legal Referral Panel, Healing Waters, National AIDS Memorial Grove, Frameline and Triangle Martial Arts Association.
“We appreciate the time, effort and contribution everyone involved making to this year’s event,” said Demetri Moshoyannis, executive director for Folsom Street Events. “San Francisco Bay Area nonprofits are being hit extremely hard by the fledging economy. Many of them are suffering severe cutbacks in local, state, and federal government fund-ing. Folsom Street Events along with help from companies like Kink.com are having a positive impact and helping to fill many of these funding gaps.”
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I drove over to Starbucks, saw this box filled with crazy colored stuff. Opened it up and WA La. Someone dropped this BOX off, whatever, just for ME! A big box of used costumes. I'm going to make something up for Folsom Street Fair from this magical box of old Halloween costumes. I have this talent, take something that looks like garbage and turn it into a happening, trendy fashion. I was raised poor and watched my depression Dad make stuff work, out of nothing. My Mom sewed all my clothes. I hated it. Everyone at school had store bought clothes, mine was homemade. It was humiliating. But today, after what Lady GaGa and her designers create, makes me feel better what I went without and learned in high school. I was the homemade "Homecoming Queen" HA HA HA! REALLY!!! I lov Ga Ga.
You laughed at my made up shit
Now my shit, itz the "glitz"
Yeah, I walked like a clown
Cried inside, I'm home to hide
Stuffed it down my frowning gown
Pain inside turned flip side
Now my "spiff" itz HOT SHIT
The Rapolgy of G_MA
Inzane Production 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The truth is I do not want you Mr. Pimp Boy. I need to get a fresh meat dress like Lady Gaga with a sign that says, "I am not your fresh meat baby". How about you settle for some on my meat off my dress for dinner since you are a meat eater! HA HA HA!!!!! @..&)))!@#$%^&*(..... Yes, there is a pimp who wants me. He had his ho call me up tell me about Manhattan. Tried to lure me into his snare. Beat yah buddy, one of my fantasies, fly to New York City/Wall Street in a sharp suit in silk nylons, sip on my lemon martini and see what happens. Fetish Mommie is in town looking for fresh meat. Men want me to treat them like fresh meat. How many times have I heard, use me, take me, drain me Miss Zoe. I would like to find some Wall Street 21 year old Hot Shot and drain him to his last sperm drop. Look back, see him sacked out on the hotel bed, close the door and laugh. Who is next in line? I like the way God made men. They can only do it so many times and there's NO MORE!
Picture of real meat dress made in 1991. LOL
Monday, September 13, 2010
I want to tell Sexy Miss Lizz in silver "WOW" the most beautiful pic I have seen of her. U ROCK GIRL. She and I are creating up to the NINE for Folsom Street Fair September 26, thatz a Sunday. I'm so excited to have a special female photographer "Miss V" who will be working on our website "Freakum Girl". Yesterday, I drove over to "Fabric R us" in Santa Clara. Pretty gud selection, I found some cheetah fake fur for the FAKE PORN STAR! HA HA HA One of my outfits will be fetish "RED". My Fem Dom characters are on the edge to draw something out of you. It all depends on what your need! Lizz I went over to copy/paste the silver boot pic. LOL. Its gone. Send me the silver boot pic to my email. The world needs to see that pic again! Zoe Zane mature porn blog producer
Saturday, September 11, 2010
This is a very touching story about a missing 9-11 firefighter and his father who found peace in a picture he saw of his firefighter son during 9-11. At least he found his missing son in action during the blast. I'm sorry for for his unrest, now he knows his son was a brave soul doing his job in New York. Bless all the families and all of us. Bowing my head in honor to this family and many other families that lost family members.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Winston Churchill quote, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” This came to my freakum brain in yoga class. "When in hell, BE the hell and keep going!" Fuck going through the hell, that is over. I'm done, with being a victim.
Mature Porn Star Zoe Zane Quote
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
I lov it. Let's get fake flashy, big not real and PHONY with colored hair, lipstick and tight minis in big spiked heels with huge sparkle sunglasses. Let's get porn starred just like Lady GaGa. We all think Lady GaGA is original which she is. BUT, I was looking at wild fashion models and saw what Lady GaGa did to get herself noticed. I love GaGa. She did what fashion models have been doing forever. That's what Sexy Miss Lizz http://www.sexymisslizz.com and Miss Zoe Zane will DO at Folsom Street Fair September 26Th, SUNDAY! I'm rounding up the One and Only Club Martini Man who loves to take pics for martini party site. I adore Martini. We'll make fun of the American porn star we all know is fake! Right on Lizz for the observation. I'm so fake! HA HA HA
Mature porn star Zoe Zane who loves fake
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
We always stir up havoc, Lizz and I. We're going to the fair. Meet us at the http://www.theholycow.com/
WooooooooooHO! Now for my wild freakum PVC bodysuits baby cakes!
Monday, September 06, 2010
It's beyond and now gone the wild surf on the Circus List "CL". Educated guess, I know why CL did not get charged with kiddy porn content BC their message board was a portal to catch pedophiles. If I posted that KP on my site, I would go to prison. Just guessing, CL made a deal with the FBI.
I wonder who monitors the FBI agents when they check hard drives for KP? Just a guess, their is more than one agent monitoring the search? If they did it that way both agents would monitor each other. Hum? I hope the owners of CL are counting their blessing for not going to prison. I hope it scared the owners so much they learned their lesson. Show some respect for the adult section. Just a feeling, it did not scare them and they still have attitude.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Finally, Craig's List is shut down, too much attention over illegal sex. At one time I was fun until certain freaks found it. It turned into a circus. It was entertaining til you saw ads for incest and underage human trafficking. CL did not monitor the message board. It was insane what you could find on the site. CL was supporting kiddy porn, white slavery, rape and murder. The site made it dangerous to be a sex workers --- No Respect!!! Finally, the law stepped in and monitored the ads. CL ignored the illegal stuff and brought to much attention to sex workers. We all know it's going on, it's not going to stop, BUT..... please do not make a big deal showing off even in Cyber Space. Pimps had their hos phone harnessing women for far out fetish service and their age. Pimps think if you over 25 you're over the hill. WRONG!!! The surfers will find where the good service has moved. CL was quick and easy to surf, undercover (not a escort search engine) for the adult section. Bye bye baby for bringing too much attention to the underground world of sex in America. It makes me nervous what CL did to sex workers. The site attracted too much atention over our sex. Zoe Zane Mature MILF Porn Star Sex Report America
Friday, September 03, 2010
The house is up for sale and looking better day by day. I was over early this morning weeding Dad's planter beds. One thing is sure, life does change and it's for the better in Dad's house. I'm pleased. I called my executor brother and it made him happy to hear my words that Dad's house is better for all of us. I went inside the house and it looks GREAT! None of the old, I want to die and hate life energy. I'm impressed with all the work we have done on Dad's house.
Dad worked all his life and I never saw him have fun. I'm getting stories from baby sister, I washed her mouth out with soap for swearing. I was raised to be self righteous by uptight rigid religious parents. That's so funny I would do that to my younger sister. I guess my Mom pushed soap in my mouth when I swore. Another story: My younger sister was a pot head in the 60's. One day she told Mom she needed to smoke pot and chill out. My second sister was a major drug and alcohol whore. REALLY! Diane, my second sister, broke my parents way down after having 5 abortions. What the fuck Mom!!! No one told them about birth contol. Duh! After my baby sister told my Mom to be a pot head, my Mom did not respond AT ALL. She must of been on her own drug "Valium". If I would of said that to Mom, I would of been chastied, critized and crunched by both parents. I find it intertesting that my brothers and sisters had totally different experiences in my family. I was ignored, isolated and trained to be the perfect hero for the family. How did I do THAT? Beats me, I shake my head at what I'm learning now about my dysfuntional California family. It makes sense I went porn after all the family crap. How I will write a fictious book about freakum wild sex. Slam, bam get it all out mama!!!
Thursday, September 02, 2010
I feel like I'm on a vacation that costs me nothing. Doing sixty straight days of Bikram leaves me in a state of relief. Now I can go every other day, or every day or miss 2 days. At the studio I'm some kind of champion. Your Zoe Girl has respect from her peers. My team leader did not finish the 60 days. I had this feeling that my team leader would see how they think and fall to their emotional crap-olla. If you are too angry you will not make it through Bikram. You can not go into that hot room in anger and practice. Other people will bug you and you will leave. My team leader is not angry just let their emotions over run and consume. I know the feeling. In the middle of the challenge I almost quit. A L M O S T!!!!! I was engulfed in despair over my life. I drug myself over to class and pushed through it. I held on for many days until it worked out.
Last night I went for a walk after I played around with a new pantie boy. I love it when I corrupt and lead the way for a new kinky fetish baby. Yes, I was his Fetish Mommie and he doesn't know what I did to him. He wanted it and I dished it out.
It was warm last night and I took a longer walk. Bikram is helping me get my strengh back from old injuries from the first marriage. The "X-Mormon Bishop" whatever hubby it overweight and still selfish. I get reports from insiders. He still tries to put me down. No this babe, I'm bullet proof. AND, my stripper daughter did 60 straight days, he can see the results. She is bull proof TOO and my other kids are watching both of us. You do not have to say one thing but do it. Your model/example is more powerful that all the fancy words in the world.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
It was the most difficult challenge of ALL my challenges. I had mouth surgery, a bone implant, my Dad died, I almost had to move BC the landlord changed his mind about my cats, and the old boyfriend is coming back in town. I'm stronger now in so many ways. My body threw up all kind of stuff over past fears. Every time something went funky in my body, I would say.... NOW WHAT! On the last day, I went to the sun blasting 4:30 PM PST class. It was terrible. The male teacher was a motor mouth maniac, started late, oh please, get on with it dude, it's hard enough with the sun. Have some compassion, do your job, teach, not a dissertation of life. Finished the class the 60th day: I walked out with head down and a beet red face. I was surprised with "yippeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!" by a dozen classmates for finishing 60 straight days of Bikram yoga. I was so fried, I layed down for a few minutes (a famous world champion body builder was escorted out by my lovely teacher Darla. I will always love her. She did a private lesson with him and it blasted the guy way out. Bodybuilders have a difficult time with Bikram yoga. Most do not come back BC of the bulk muscles).
It's SO clear to my mind, how Bikram will change you, your life and your body at any age. Patience is the virtue. Show up and all will change. A different world athlete is emerging with Bikram yoga. Those who practice are powerful human beings like never before on this planet. If you think it's a cult so be it. I think you gotta have balls to do Bikram. Go to one class and see if it's a cult. A cult for torture, maybe? If you think you are going to die in class you can not do that until the class if over. Then you can die. Bikram Quote
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