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    Sunday, January 29, 2012

    Day 25 for Bikram and Free Live Cam Show

    Day 25, yoga room packed passed my ears. I did my class by someone I didn't know nor like. They had a arrogant attitude. Yesterday, was the anniversary party for the studio and free yoga. I don't like the days we have free yoga.

    Now - my weekly live cam show is just for members. I'm disappointed in camworldVIP. I went to a lot of work to get on the site, now this. Please don't misunderstand why I'm upset. How will I ever get all my members to watch me at the same time? Will see what other cam girls are doing. CamZ dumped us with no warning. Oh well. I was out of the loop. How can you be out of the loop when the chat cop monitor your shows? Stuff on the net comes and goes. Camz is gone and so are my free live cam shows (need to change it on the entire site - ekk!). When you joined my site you saw other model's shows. That's over. I guess I will not worry about it and focus on money making videos like Sexy Miss Lizz. She told me when she stopped doing free live cam shows it didn't affect traffic.

    Buttercup took me to dinner last night for my birthday. My birthday was Friday. I'm deep into my Bikram yoga challenge. I didn't care about my birthday. My close family said hello, happy birthday Mom. That's all that mattered to me.

    Lately, everybody out there wants something from Miss Zoe. Right now, I'm hanging in there doing my yoga challenge. Most people don't understand how intense 60 straight days of Bikram yoga can be. So.... I will just let them all say what they want to say, listen with a smile and live my life. I can only fix and do so much. I just felt the pressure from someone who doesn't understand what I went through. That little girl endure a lot and she's very tuff inside. Other people have their own needs and what they want. It only matters what they think. I will let them say what they want to say, let it roll over me like a soft wave.

    My book will talk about a little girl's Father's sex abuse (she and her sister). Sister went insane, now in lock down mental hospital. How no one cared, did not give a damn about a pretty little girl. How she took it all on herself and keep going. How she survived is a miracle. She went outside to her favorite trees and ran away. No one was there for her. Now she's deciding who will be close to her. She didn't have a choice when she was small. She took it all on as a tiny girl. This little girl kept her family secret way too long.

    When I see selfish, I know it's time for me to love me. That's all that matters, my love for myself.

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